i am blessed and cursed to be especially sensitive and to care a lot about the people i teach, no matter who it is. this makes it very difficult for little me to deal with difficult students. and i am going through a toughie right now. i don't want to get too specific as not to reveal this person, but i will talk generally about this issue that occasionally plagues my line of work.
what do you do when a student "wants" to do certain things but really "should" be working on things they would rather avoid? and they lose their minds at the mere mention of this suggestion? when i am trying to help, because i care, but can not for the life of me understand why one continues to come to class and not take a single suggestion? how is it that some students think that yoga is all about "them"? how does this happen? one of my biggest peeves, without trying to sound negative, is students who would rather work on what makes them "feel good" rather than what they are weak at. because i believe astanga yoga is a supreme balanacer. it addresses all of our weaknesses, forcing us to face what we do not like. it is extremely empowering to conquer something we can not do, extremely ego building to continually work on something that we are already good at. so astanga can do one of two things for you. if you choose-it can blow up your ego to the point of having a "jesus" complex, or it can annaihilate your ego and humble your soul. a far better choice, but not always an easy one. i've always been the kind of student who loves to have my ego slapped, which is why i choose the teachers i choose. they have all been really good at doing this to me, i have and continue to face demons, try to do stuff i hate. as a result, i feel i have become a more conscious & humble being. and the teachers that were all about "you're beautiful! oh, yes, do what you feel like! it's all about you, honey" i have run away from top speed. the best teachers in the world do not let you get away with your little crap. just study in mysore and you will see how sharath teaches. he is the best at this. i want to be a teacher like that. i can't help trying to be like my teachers, they are my role models. and it pains me when i cannot reach a student that so desperately needs help. so i am forced to do one of two things-ignore it, or keep trying. the easy thing to do is shut it off, don't "care" ignore it. the hardest thing to do is keep with them & have faith that they eventually will come around. i usually choose the latter, but suffer the consequences of having my energy totally drained by someone who does not really care that i am working so hard with them. teaching is a very tough profession. sometimes i wonder why i do it. then i realized i don't want to do anything else.
i really felt like exploring today, walking the town, having some fun for the first time in a few days, since i felt an energy boost-seems i'm always tired. but when i left the house, pouring rain. "well" i thought "the stores will be less crowded!" what is worse than walking the crowded streets in tokyo? walking the crowded streets in tokyo with everyone ducking under umbrellas. a little added challange. even the bike riders carry umbrellas, avoid getting hit by cars constantly, and avoid hitting people. it's tough here. kind of like a giant video game. that's an idea i'm not sure has been used yet. i'd call it "shibuya crossing-kill or be killed!"
so the "exploring" was not very productive. the rain won. my pants had become soaked from the knees down, my shoes & socks totally soaked, ugh..wet slippery feet. by the time i reached lululemon, i had become cranky, not able to find anything in that "prada" of athletic wear store. god, they are supremely overpriced, and i can't stand 80% of their clothes. well made, true, but ridiculously overpriced. yoga teachers do not make enough money to have a wardrobe of the stuff unless they have a job at the store.
but i did get to "lunch", my favorite ladies underwear & nightie store-there's one in the dry shibuya train station. love that place! and 8 pairs of cheap socks at 105 yen a piece-like 85 cents, AND some cheap makeup! i haven't worn makeup for almost 10 years. yes, tokyo has made me sort of ashamed at my unkept-no makeup-slob girl look and i'm now taking steps to change it. what do you think? is there hope?
3 comments:
Sharath often smiles and walks past those students who do what they want. But he knows exactly who they are and what they're up to.
Here i go again, trying to post to this. Well, anyway, please keep teaching because we need you...bigtime.
Just think of this as one more way to have your ego belittled.
But, please say you were only mad at the rain, and not at lulu! Just say it isn't so :-).
nope. mad at lulu for charging too much. and not having enough colors or long pant options-the kind that go to the floor. and the long sleeved micro wool shirt is 100 bucks! they are getting too big.
i actually like the rain.
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