secret

i know i've been here too long because i saw a dog today and it was naked. which means he did not have clothes on. this is not a normal observation where i come from. something has happened to me.

recently we tried a recommended cheap thai restaurant. we were seated directly next to a hot cone. and jeff, who is into the weird and unknown, ordered the sunagimo ash plate. it looked nice, rich dark purple pieces amongst onions and spices. the texture was firm, and i was sure it was some sort of japanese root vegetable, maybe a lotus root cousin. jeff thought it was some sort of octopus or squid. i bit down on piece after piece trying to figure it out. and the next day we did a google search.

gizzards.

i ate gizzards. and they weren't bad,

but had i known...

like the time the mexican cooks at a restaurant i was working at many years ago begged me to eat one of their "special" tacos. they refused to tell me what it was.

tongue. and it was good,

but had i known....

friday we had the entire day planned around going to the shinjuku loft to see the amazing 10 piece james brown inspired funk band, "osaka monaurail." we walked a half an hour deep into the darkest areas of shinjuku-the escort services, naked bars with young yakuza wearing "goodfellas" inspired hip and cool black outfits with perfect hair hanging out in front of the hundreds of sex shops. we searched for "the loft". we had a good map, we were in the right area. and 30 more minutes go by. we are still searching, alley after alley, street after street, porn after porn. 30 more minutes. searching. no loft. we look in our book. loft is in 2B, which is a basement. now, if it's called "the loft" why is it in the basement? but then i remember reading that all the live clubs are underground because of strict noise laws. it begins to drizzle and gradually turns into a gentle pour. we pass one of the many "kleenex" passers-the dudes who give out tissue with advertisements on the streets everywhere here. he looks at jeff. he quietly says,

"colonel"

"colonel...sanders".

we get half a block away and realize he is commenting on jeff and his long grey beard, and there is a KFC right around the corner, i look at the colonel and see the resemblance. jeff looks. all he can say is "when i get home, i gotta dye the beard."

another 30 minutes pass. still no loft. it's pouring rain now, we have no umbrellas. there are thousands of people out. nothing but sex bars and neon and rain and people and jeff asks an usher where this place is. he does not know. we go to the main map next to the police box. they direct us, but still no luck. we go into a puppy store. not knowing why. they don't know either. we go to the club's sister club, a spoken word club called "loft plus one." they just point and we obey, but nothing. we go into a liquor store. and get pointed right to the club, which is not marked with any sign, not even in kanji. no address. we walked past it several times but there was no way we could have known it was there. and no one else seemed to know anything about it. we go into the club, present our i.d.s, get ready to shell out our 8000 yen (64 bucks) jeff asks "when is osaka monarail playing?" because we have to be up by 7 tomorrow. the girl looks at a piece of paper and says,

"secret".

secret. ok. like, how late?

"late"

like after midnight late or what?

"yes, late"

so we go to the other box and ask the same question.

"secret"

ok, we are from chicago and know about this gig and it's supposed to be a secret? the first 5 bands begin at 9 and then "secret" band. so that takes us into the 2am zone. a zone we cannot be in. because getting home at 3 or 4 and up at 7 is a bit hardcore, and i have had enough hardcore. we go home. soaked from the rain. and not much to talk about.

and jeff never has given up before when trying to find something. he came very close this time, but alas, we found the "secret" treasure. and saved 8000 yen. and went home to watch "the party" on our laptop with peter sellers.