if you simply just want his blessing...

this is a blog i have written about a week ago and almost did not publish this, because it is a little controversial, but it is only my opinion, and please do not be offended by what i have to say. but i believe very strongly in these things.

one more month to go. i had another eel gathering for lunch yesterday, mainly to meet another western teacher who is also having a hard time making friends. 5 of us gathered on floor 9 of the tokyu dept. store for charcoal unagi lunch set. and got to know the other new teacher, a recently authorized one who said a lot of interesting things, such as how the authorization does not mean much. she said her only motivation was to simply get guruji's blessing to teach. and prefers the shala in mysore when it's only guruji. i had told her i go to kovalam every year because the yoga is good. and she stumped me by asking what" bad" yoga was. and i'm actually still thinking about that one a day later.

what is "bad" yoga? here's some of my ideas

-when it is taught by teachers who do not practice yoga regularly
-when it is taught by someone who has not practiced at least a few years
-when teachers extort money from the students they teach when they become teachers. i have never had this happen to me, but have heard about it.
-when the only motivating force to teach is money
-when the teachers spread gossip about other teachers to students
-when teachers are too busy performing to notice the students
-when teachers only adjust the bendy and the beautiful
-teachers who elevate themselves above the students
-when the teacher is no longer a student themselves

so this does not really mean "bad yoga" but really, "bad yoga teachers" which can make the yoga bad, or not! the above problems can also show students how the path is not always a positive one. not always a happy and shiny one. because, after all, teachers are human beings and make the same mistakes as everyone else.

we also talked about how much astanga is gossiped about on the internet, and in groups all over the world. how often words are put in sharath's and guruji's mouths. and how it is supposed to be 99% practice and 1% theory. and how tedious many students in mysore can be, talking about their yoga constantly when they're not practicing, talking about their diets, (that one is the worst to me. one of the most boring subjects making one very boring) and weight loss. and body vanity. don't get me wrong. not everyone is like that. but so many are. just do an internet search and read what so many people are talking about. i found a site that contains astanga blogs, i think it's called ashtangi.net and i checked out a few of the blogs. SO exhausting! one girl, who is obsessed with her backbends (so common and i don't know why!) talks only about teachers who can "get results out of my spine". she does not care who it is, and will "try" every single teacher in mysore except the guru! i mean, why go all the way to mysore and study with everyone except the guru? also very common. people don't feel they get enough from the shala, and take 2 or 3 classes from 2 or 3 different teachers daily! and you are required to sign a contract when you go to the shala stating that you will not study with another teacher while in the shala. many people sign it and secretly creep out to all the other teachers, because they get more adjustments. wouldn't it be easier if these people stayed at home and studied with their teachers there? or is it so glamorous to have "studied" in india, regardless of who it is? let me tell you, india is NOT glamorous! and i go each year to study with an italian! because i like lino and his wife tina, and maria paola and serge, and rosanna. but i do not like kovalam. it's basically a western tourist spot with nothing to do and bad shopping. yes, there is the ocean, but it's full of hawkers who will wake you up from sleeping to try to sell you something. and it is filthy.

and i am too much in love with india to stay in one spot for 4 months, i must always see something new when i go there, which is why i haven't been back to mysore. but i began to learn some things about this yoga, about myself when i spent 2 weeks with sharath in australia right before tokyo. and i am intrigued. and guruji is getting old. and soon we won't have the choice to study with guruji. and to me, there's nothing worse than going there just to get that piece of paper, because it does not make you a good teacher. just go there because you want to. and make it personal. and if you simply just want his blessing and it's coming from your heart, than that's beautiful.